


Always thinking of you

by Trobedzone



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Angst, Boyfriends, Broken Heart, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Kisses, M/M, Missing, Reunions, flowers in hair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:53:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28640307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trobedzone/pseuds/Trobedzone
Summary: sort of inspired by the song 'Thinking of you' By Katy Perry
Relationships: Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	Always thinking of you

**Author's Note:**

> sort of inspired by the song 'Thinking of you' By Katy Perry

Abeds pov 

I clutched a pillow holding it close to my chest, trying to breathe in the last of his scent. It’s been 3 years, his scent was long gone. Troy never even used the pillow, he’d always rest his head on my chest instead, I told myself I clutched his pillow every night so I could breathe in his non-existent scent but it was really because I missed having him so close to me. I missed holding him and laughing with him till we both fell asleep. How could he just leave? Did I ever mean anything to him? Does he think of me every second that passes by and think of the way I’d smile when he’d do literally anything? Is he still able to smile? Do his insides feel as broken and shattered as mine do? Does he even miss me? I miss the way he’d run his fingers through my hair and mess it up right after I fixed it. I finally got up and opened my laptop to start composing an email to Troy.

To TroyBarnes21@gmail.com 

Dear Troy/ My Constable

It’s been too long, It’s been 3 years, what happened to sending me emails every day? What happened to you? Are you doing okay? I want to keep our promise about friends not lying even though you broke it when you left. Clone Abed is broken, Original Abed is broken, are you broken too? I haven’t had a real smile on my face since before I found out you were going to leave me. I don’t know what to do Troy, I don’t know how to make these feelings stop, I just want them to stop, I’m thinking of you when I’m with anyone because I wish it were you spending the night, not them, I wish I were looking into your eyes. I miss your eyes. I miss your smile, I miss the things you made me feel. It took me forever to be able to write this, I’m finally doing it but I don’t even know if you remember me. It’s been 3 fucking years and I still can’t bring myself to say your name out loud because it hurts, it hurts so much. Everything hurts without you. I just want you to burst through my door and tell me you have missed me so much and tell me that you couldn’t contact me because you didn’t have service and tell me that you’ve been gone for 3 years because the trip turned out to take longer so I can finally stop thinking that you forgot about me or just don’t want me anymore, I wish I could stop thinking that you found someone else and that they are making you feel the way you make me feel. You deserve so much happiness Troy, but I want to be the one who gives it to you, I want to be the one that puts that beautiful smile on your face. I want to be yours. I want to marry you and grow old with you, I want to stop hurting over you and just have you back. I want to go back to the field you and I went that one summer day, do you remember that? Do you remember laying in my arms in that field full of flowers? Do you remember when you put all those flowers in my hair then told me how beautiful I looked? It was just me and you that day, I miss it just being me and you. I miss you, troy, I miss us. I think that day in the field might be one of my happiest memories. We stayed there for so long. When night time came we just stared up at the stars and talked about our future, you said you always wanted it to be me and you. That was the first time I wasn’t scared of talking about the future and change because I stupidly believed that you’d always be there with me. This email is getting too long but there’s still so much left unsaid. If you are reading this and if you don’t hate me or if maybe possibly you miss me too, please just come home, even if you found someone else just tell me you are okay and alive, I love you, I always will.

P.s I live here now *Address attached* I miss 303, for a while, I thought it was because 303 felt like home but it’s not the apartment, it’s you, you feel like home.

Love Abed 

I read over my email dozens of times to make sure it sounded acceptable before pressing send. Then the tears that I’d been holding in for the day began to pour down my cheeks.

I got back into bed and buried my face into a pillow. Before Troy left I never cried and since he’s been gone I haven’t been able to stop. I learned that Troy was the only one who was able to calm me down when I was having a mental breakdown or panic attack. I finally fell asleep after hours, hours of sobbing, hours of my skin screaming to feel his touch again, every single part of me was screaming to at least hear his voice. 

I was awoken by a loud banging on my door. I tiredly got out of bed and walked to the door.

“It’s fucking 7 in the morning, I said I’d pay the rent tonight.” I groaned, expecting to see the landlord. 

When I opened the door Instead of the landlord, I was greeted by Troy and his warm smile.

“I found you, I lost your email, I lost all my contacts, I finally found you,” Troy said quietly.

“T-Troy.” I stuttered.

“Yeah, I’m right here babe,” He smiled sadly.

“You’re- you.” I choked on a sob.

“I love you, I’m so sorry,” Troy muttered beginning to cry himself.

I threw my arms around him and buried my face in his chest.

“You’re home, I love you, you’re here.” I cried.

“I'm right here baby, I’ll always be here.” He whispered.

I lifted my head and looked into his teary eyes.

“How long have you been looking?” I asked shakily.

“A year, I started looking as soon as I finished the trip.” He said.

“I should have emailed sooner,” I muttered.

“You didn’t know, baby.” He softly said.

I tightened my grip on his waist.

“Please never leave again.” I pleaded. 

“I’ll never leave you again, I swear, also, I have something for you.” 

I hesitantly let go of Troy and he pulled a handful of tiny flowers out of his pocket. 

He reached up and started putting them in my hair, I couldn’t help but smile.

When he finished he cupped my face, gently running his thumb over my cheek. 

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered.

My heart fluttered and tears dripped down my face.

“You’re always so beautiful.” He said softly.

“I missed you,” I whispered faintly.

“I always miss you.” He replied.

I put my hands on his waist and pulled his body closer to mine then connected our lips.

It felt like all the pain in my body was quickly washed down the drain.

I pulled away and just tightly wrapped my arms around him again. It finally felt like I was home. 

Then I woke up, completely and utterly alone. No emails, only a notification saying Troy's email was no longer in service. I lost him.


End file.
